It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
