You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
