nut hugger
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
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