mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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