it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
