You smell like stripper and shame
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
