Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
