Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
