Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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