she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
