Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
