What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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