No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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