You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Someone came in the potted fern
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
