is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
