Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
BRING THE BAGELS
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
