Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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