I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
