Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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