I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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