paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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