Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
