No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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