i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
