One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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