i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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