you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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