Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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