this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
