She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
