I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
