I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
