just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
