My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
