shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I smell like Dick and happiness
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
