I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
