Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
