let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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