I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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