He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We are two peas in an std pod
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
