mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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