ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
