i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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