I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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