can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
