Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
