So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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