you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
