There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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