no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Even my vagina gasped.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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