The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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