You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize