i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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