I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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