White coat. Heels.
My hand turned me down
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
