drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
