Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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