she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
