I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You are a genius and a whore.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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