I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He better not be in your backpack
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
