textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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