I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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