I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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