and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
